Nursery Notifications

 

Tell Humpty Dumpty to get off of the wall

There’s a shortage of king’s horses and men

Lack of balance is not a good trait for an egg

With a brittle shell much too fragile and thin

 

Tell the boy who cried wolf to chill for a bit

Maybe wait until some real damage is done

Paranoid alarmists should not make a sound

And we all know that wolves like their fun

 

Tell Goldilocks that break and enter is a crime

Her poor diet causes those narcoleptic bouts

This child has a bad habit of sleeping around

As for bears cooking porridge, I have doubts

 

Tell Snow White to stop hanging with weirdos

Little old bearded pimps advertising  ‘Hi-Ho’

No prince wants a woman who’s part of a cult

Unless they’re offering free lines of their blow

 

Tell Little Miss Muffet to get off those tuffets

Things are crawling on those mounds of grass

An unwise choice for a little arachnophobe

And curds of whey will go straight to her ass

 

Tell the three little pigs to move to a condo

The wolf wears his great patience with pride

So, yes, they’re all safe in their brick bungalow

But the poor little porkers are all stuck inside

 

Tell Jack and Jill that water runs down the hill

So why in the world are those idiots climbing

Could it be they both failed their physics class

About as badly as I’ve botched all this rhyming

 

               

           (along came a)  s. paul   (July, 2020)